SINGAPORE: Mackenzie Ferrers started having problems only three weeks into year 7 at a mainstream private school.

His mother Edwina Exton said it was immediately apparent the school was not set up for her son, who soon afterwards was diagnosed with autism and ADHD and met the profile for Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA).

Mackenzie, who is now 14, then went to a government high school in Melbourne, but could often only get as far as the office due to his high anxiety.

“They let him use a little room in the office, but he would hide under the desk in the office and sit there with his laptop and try and do the work,” Ms Exton said.

Mackenzie is now going to a specialist private school, but admits he is still having problems getting to class every day.

“When I go to school, I feel proud in myself. There’s no real benefit in staying home, but it’s just my body is just trying to stop me from going anywhere at all times,” he said.

Mackenzie said he “doesn’t feel different” to other teens.

“I feel like I’m everyone else. I feel like I’m the same. I feel like I’m that normal average kid, but as you can tell, I’m not,” he said.

“The thing is I experience a lot of things differently as PDA makes me want to reject anything that I’m asked, and it’s not just some blatant excuse. My body is genuinely putting me in fight or flight, just getting asked to do something.”

Mackenzie’s message to other neurodivergent children is to “slowly build up to anything”.

“Even though it might take a month to make one step, any little step counts. If you just take it step by step, no matter how slow, you don’t have to rush it,” he said.

His advice to parents of neurodivergent children is to “not let them sit around and do nothing because they can still achieve something”.

“Just comfort them. Make them feel that they’re fine, they’re safe.”

Ms Exton said her son’s attendance issues started in primary school.

“His school refusal actually started in year 5 and worsened in year 6,” she said.

“Many neurodivergent children find the transition to secondary school very challenging – so many more teachers, so many more students, constant shifts from classroom to classroom, high expectations around emotional regulation and navigating complex social interactions, to mention a few.”

She said navigating schooling had been very challenging.

“It’s difficult to make sure that you know your child is still able to socialise with other young people and keep up with basic learning and also to hold down jobs.”

She said she was “in tears a lot in the car and in the house. Just being completely hopeless and feeling like I would never find help”.

“I imagine people would be wondering why was I chopping and changing and moving my child? Because they can’t really see the complexity of what parents are dealing with.”

Mackenzie’s father Richard said it “can be very hard emotionally on the family as well, riding those ups and downs and responding to when he gets stressed or upset”.

“It’s a journey of learning for us as much as accepting who Mac is and then trying to support him to find the things that he loves,” he said.